I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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