So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize