How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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