Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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