why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
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you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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