He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
