Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
