my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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