i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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