it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
