no you cant smoke seaweed
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
