they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
