they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
