you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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