I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
