now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We have started to decorate penises.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
