I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
