this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
and you fell through a lawn chair
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
