I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
