I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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