I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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