the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
