I'm drive I can fine osifer
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
