i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm passing your future prison.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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