what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
