if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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