wanna go halves on a baby?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
