that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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