Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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