I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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