You're completely useless in the revolution.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i now understand why vodka
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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