My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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