You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
