So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
and i looked up. we had an audience...
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I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
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We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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