I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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