tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
