as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
