paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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