get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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