i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
