There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm both gender and math confused
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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