How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
