You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
