HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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