KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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