I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize