i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
