can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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