IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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