You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
