I can tuck mytits in my pants
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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