I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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