champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
