im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
