Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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