I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
