he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize