'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
