I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
