Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
