YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
