I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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